Hetalia: France VsEngland
by Moonlit Neve
Summary: Everyone is invading England's home. France is on the move to destroy England once and for all. But Italy is in the middle of it and has to bear with it all. What will happen? Some characters may be out of character from other perspectives. Let's go!


England's house…

A light brisk morning and the day has yet to begin for the two rivals France was yet to be on England's mind. Flipping pages England smiled to himself. Nothing seemed to make England happier than his own personal space. The sun rose a bit more and peeked through the window. Rubbing his eyes England took a glance at his clock. The closet is the only place where England can read without the annoying sun rays ruining his book. IN the closet he sits and reads his book of the supernatural wonders. "Wow, it's early…guess I should get some sleep…I've been up a long time."

Just then England's stomach started to growl…"Guess I should eat something! But what?"

Heading down to the kitchen England was about to prepare something easy and fast. Even he is aware of the horrid cooking skills he has. Not knowing how much time he had before tea time he started…only with the end result of smoke and smoke detectors screaming.

"I should leave this to other people…definitely…"

Knock, knock

Strolling to the door with tea, England looked out the peep hole and saw the mail man. "Good day and what have we here? Mail for me?"

"No! Your deserts you cold hearted fool!"  
>"Yummy! Deserts! Yeahhh! Let me have some…hey is it pizza by chance?" asked Italy.<p>

"Hey?" How the fuck did you get in my house!" yelled England.

"Oh…I came to visit you last night, so I opened the door and then went to your room. But you were asleep. Then I got thirsty and I went to your bathroom to get tap water but I slipped over something and fell. I was unconcious for the most part. And here I am…not unconscious. And that's when you swore at me and asked how I got-"  
>"Okay… I didn't need to know all that! "Yelled England again.<p>

"Anyways you smexy boy Italy…I have business to attend to..." said France politely brushing Italy to the side.

"You liar! I was never asleep! I was up reading Supernatural Wonders you turd!"  
>"No fair! I thought you were asleep! Great a whole night planned of BFF's hanging out and you ruined it!"<p>

"HOW?" screamed England, "That is the last straw. I cannot take any more of your ignorance…get over here!"  
>"B-B-But England you never attacked me before why now!"<br>"It's early in the morning, I have a headache from both of you and I haven't had my tea!"  
>"NOOOOOO! Germany help me!"<br>"Sorry but this is rightful revenge…and by the book revenge is allowed."  
>"Hello! I am France here! Don't forget me! I AM NOT CANADA!"<p>

Not able to take this anymore England snapped and put his tea on the nearby table. "Shut up! All of you leave now!"  
>"But don't you want to know how I got into your house?"<br>"No Germany, go away."  
>"Awwwww…but the book and I agree<p>

ree that telling your master plan to the end is ok."  
>"Go!"<p>

"Now I know how Canada feels."

Juat then Canada came bursting through the door yodeling. "Yodele yodele hee who! How is everyone…I heard my name as I was visiting you England."

Utter silence. All eyes were glued to Canada. Canada was just staring into the gazing eyes as if nothing was happening.

"What the fuck Canada…your Canada…where does yodeling come into this?" asked England still puzzled.

"Jodeln?" asked Germany.

"Switzerland's going to beat your ass." England said as he sat down with a thumping head.

"Nuh-uh!"  
>"Trust me he will."<br>"How do you know huh?"

"Your acting like a child Canada." Said France.

"He won't you know how?"  
>"Humph…he beat your ass yesterday?"<br>"No! Well how did you know?" demanded Canada.

"Oh did you guys see that special on Chicken Kiev?" asked England.  
>"Oh yea. Maybe Poland can get Russia to make us some…on the account that he isn't afraid of him." Suggested Germany.<p>

"Oh we should, we should." Agreed Italy while day dreaming about the chicken Kiev.

"Hey! Hey! I will not be ignored again! Oh forget it…" said Canada leaving.

It was three in the afternoon and England was stuck catering to everyone except Canada who had left. They were in his dining room having the time of their lives. Even England was having fun even though France was there. Italy making hand gestures on how he got a girl to fall for him by his looks as usual was the main story at the table. Then France wanting the spotlight started to tell about his long defeats list in the military.  
>"Hey…did anyone see Canada?" asked France disregarding his story as of the moment.<p>

"Did he leave?" asked Germany.

"Canada was here? I thought he was America…" stated Italy.

"I noticed he was really loud to…that's not like him at all."

"Hey yeah you're right. He was out of OC no doubt." Explained England sipping lemonade.

Wondering about Canada's sudden change in character the group bounced from idea to idea. Then finally landing on the fact that Canada did not get enough sleep last night. The group then returned to the conversation they had started.

"Germannnnyyyy…" whined Italy.

"Yes Italy." Replied Germany.

"I'm hungry. I want pasta. No, I want cheese sticks and pasta."

"How can you not be full? You just ate a lot of French's crepes; however I am on my way out for a walk. I'll get you some."  
>"And don't forget the sauce! You forgot the it last time." Said Italy crossing his arms and putting his pouting face into play.<p>

"Yes, yes."

And with that Germany left the dining area and Italy pondered his fresh new meal, brought by Germany. Even though Germany was only doing this to keep Italy intact for training. England finishing up his last fork full of strawberry cheese cake. France was enjoying his pastry delights as well, until it hit him.

"Wait! What am I doing? Ack, missour missour forgive me! I have forgotten what I have come here for! England, today, you will die by my hands mwahahahaha!"

"Sit the hell down and finish your cake."

"Fine, but not of your will, but…for the love of strawberry cheese cake! I will continue to slay you, England, when I am finished…"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah…" disregarded England, rolling his eyes.

It was now evening and Italy was finished stuffing his face. Germany had left earlier to attend business. And France nearly had a heart attack from all the cheesecake. Italy and England were the only two standing….well I this case sitting.

Leaving Italy to do whatever he pleased as long as he doesn't do things that involve touching, breathing, gocking, nebieness, etc. England went into the kitchen to wash the dishes. England had a pile of dishes due to France's overeating. For a man of such elegance and finicky personality, he sure loves cheesecake.

"Wow, who would've known that would France likes cheesecake this much…maybe he didn't have breakfast." England said aloud. He started scraping some of the leftover cheesecake and crepe crumbs off the main platter, "last time I ever offer food to anyone." He said closing his eyes for a brief moment. "Especially that France! A matter of fact, he's still here. Hmph…eat my food, falls asleep on my handcrafted table, which I put so much effort into making. And then he decides to drool all over it! Who does he think he is?That's it France your outta here."  
>Putting the dish back in the sink he hurried out of the kitchen. Watching England walk over to the other end of the table, Italy frowned. "England it's not nice to wake someone up from a snooze."<p>

"It's not nice for someone to snooze on my table and drool all over it like it a horrible handmade pillow." Retorted England.

England walked over and punched France on the head. France didn't notice and started mumbling his dream. England punched him again in the head. No reaction, no mumbling. Perhaps France really did have a heart attack England now furious, punched France in the head multiple times. Still no response.

"What the…how can he not feel this! Fine I'm going to the kitchen."  
>As England left, France awakened with a soft yawn." Ouch, my head really hurts. Did I fall smexy Italy?"<br>"Can you disregard the smexy part? And no, you didn't fall."

"Oh well that's good. I can't get all bashed up now, the world needs this face, And now come Italy I know you like my little pet name for you."  
>"Hmmm let me think about it…"<br>"So?" asked France.

"You know…that little nickname is…" said Italy positively.  
>"Yes yes yes yes yes yes!"<p>

"Horrible! Sorry but I had to let that out."  
>"Nuts…you will like it even if I have to chase and destroy England's home…wait….England…home….destroy…" just then France got a sinister look on his face.<p>

Leaving to the bathroom France was about to take England by surprise. Smashing the upstairs bathroom windows and including upstairs windows in general to smithereens France headed to the attic. Hearing all the shatter and banging going on upstairs England headed to the stairwell.

"Sorry England but I can't. France made me promise him not to let you go upstairs." Interjected Italy. England scowled and Italy spread his limbs out as if he were being searched. "No can do. I said I made a promise…even if I was bribed a promise is a promise. I can't just let you go past."  
>"Oh yes you can. Now out of my way you." England shoved Italy to the side and went up the stairs. Running behind the rushing England Italy snuck in front of him and spread his limbs out again. "Seriously, you have to do this. Let me guess he bribed you for crepes and pizza."<p>

"Yes, mostly pizza but there is no way you are getting past me. Got it?" Italy said sternly.

"Get out of my way you idiot! Clear the way now moves."

"You're so cruel! You just called me an idiot!"

"Darn right I did so what about it now just go and leave me to France."

"Mannnnnn…why are you so rude!" shouted Italy leaving forgetting his promise.

Upstairs in the attic France was nearly done and all he had left to destroy was an old painting that England bought a few days earlier. England reaching the top of the steps in the attic he saw broken floor board, glass, furniture, everything. And everything was just as worse as the floor below him, especially his room and bathroom.

"FRAAAAANNNNNNCCCCCEEEEE! DIE!" yelled England as he leaped into the air after the scrambling France.

"But how did you get in here? That darned Italy!"

England had tackled France. But France had England by the neck choking him. They tumbled around the room and fell down the steps. Italy then returned and pried the two apart.

"Hey. Who said you can intervene smexy Italy?"

"Look who cares right now. I have a message, apparently Poland is inviting us to a villa up north since he isn't able to come he thought it would be a nice treat. And that is where the next meeting will be held. Okay, so stop playing around. France clean up your mess and go home to pack. England you help to since you made even more a mess and for the heck of it I'll help to." Commanded Italy.

"Ummm sure but…are you okay?"  
>"Yeah why wouldn't I be?"<p>

"It's just that you were responsible and reasonable for once." Said England.

"Hey! I have my moments. Oh yeah and Poland didn't pay his reservations for us yet at the hotel before we get to the villa."  
>"So?" asked France.<p>

"Ummmm…well I said I would pay it if I got the biggest room in the villa. But I can't, so I was hoping that you would…"  
>"Pay for you and the others. Gee why not?" said England.<p>

"Perfect! Thanks I'll go tell Poland right now!"  
>"No! I was being sarcastic." But Italy was out of ear shot to hear England's voice let alone his explanation.<p>

"Just when he's all of a sudden serious Italy reverts back to his normal self. Great. Well France let's get a cracking."  
>Looking to his left to where France was he saw the window that was once closed, opened. Along with some old twine hanging out of the window. Realizing France abandoned him he started to work. Then it hit him that Italy had left him to. Both had left England to clean both floors without any remorse. Reaching down to clean the mess he quickly shot up and went to dial Japan's number. At least Japan will help him if he offered to teach Japan of course more about his culture for free. Furrowing his brow England was still hugely upset at France's vandalism act. Not to mention, Italy suggesting and saying he'd help only to leave him alone. Getting his phone book he searched Japan. He swore to himself before or after he would get revenge on France, as of now, Italy was of no importance to him. Dialing the number he smirked to himself.<p>

"Hello?"

~END~


End file.
